P’s class has an honor system; each child has three pieces of “money” (referred to by P as ‘my monies’). If they follow directions, keep their listening ears on and cooperate with their friends and teachers, they hold on to their money and are rewarded with treats at the end of the day as they are departing. If they don’t however, one piece of ‘my monies’ is taken and a note is left for the parent. This continues for each infraction until your monies are gone and any hope of sugar is a distant memory.
So I bet you’re wondering how my little P does in this toddler version of high finance? I don’t take the critcism of my little lovebug lightly, so let’s just say that if you think this economy is rough for you and your family, you have no idea the great depression that is P’s preschool portfolio. At one point last week, P had to solicit some cash from a loanshark just to cover her nut for lunch. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing sadder than a three foot tall panhandler.
But today P held on to ALL of her monies and I couldn’t be more proud. To celebrate, in addition to the three smarties she received (hello? smarties? You can’t blame the kid for lacking focus), I gave her a sucker I’ve had stowed away for just this occassion. And the ride home was a rousing victory parade for her. It was all very exciting.
As I was pulling to the light at our exit, I noticed she seemed to be “painting” something with her celebratory sucker. I tilted my rearview mirror and witnessed she was taking the sucker, touching the bottom of her SHOE and then putting it back in her mouth. Like the shoe was serving some kind of fondue. After a couple of dryheaves, the following exchange occurred:
ME: P, stop doing that.
P (oblivious to the eww): Wha?
ME: Give me that dirty sucker, you can’t have it anymore young lady.
P (taking one last lick): Why mommy?
ME: Because you touched your dirty shoe and now the sucker is dirty and gross and disgusting.
P (whimpering a little): But Mommy my shoes are so cute.
And apparently quite tasty too.
9 comments
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May 20, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire
I am gagging and laughing at the same time.
“But they’re so cute!”
May 20, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Amazing Greis
Cute shoes can’t be dirty, duh!
Yeah, not so much, that’s pretty YUCKY! Maybe she should take her shoes off before eating anything while riding in cars from now on. You know, just in case.
Way to go P! Lets hope she can keep her MONIES all day tomorrow too.
May 21, 2009 at 9:25 am
Kate
Thank you so much for this darling story. You were honest and revealing, self deprecating and descriptive. Some of my most favorite qualities in storytelling. Gosh, I enjoy your blog, and I enjoy you even more
May 21, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Katie
M does the SAME thing with her suckers! Why??????
May 22, 2009 at 9:13 am
Kelley
The shoe as fondue was priceless.
TOO FUNNY!
May 23, 2009 at 9:46 am
Emilie @ Doritos for Dinner
This is freakin’ hilarious! Not just the shoe-sucking, but also the visual of your little sweet potato in line at the local Check ‘n’ Go with various and sundry white trash . . .
May 27, 2009 at 9:32 am
Andrea @ Mommy Snacks.net
That is too funny! Borrowing money from a loan shark….hilarious!
And, there will be worst things she’ll get a taste of in her life. A dirty shoe sucker is the least of your problems!
May 27, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Auds at Barking Mad
OK now I don’t feel so bad about admitting that Imp used playground mud from the bottom of her shoes as “makeup” because “Mommy has a bad ‘tude and wont share her makeups with me!”
I feel so much better after reading this.
Too funny Amy, especially the lone shark bit! Sadly, I kinda think Imp would be the loan shark in this scenario!
June 1, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Laura
I also refer to cash as “my monies” — especially when my dear husband doesn’t know I have it.