When I was in high school my Grandma, in her seventies, fell and broke her hip. It was the kiss of death back in those days. I remember my Mom telling people, friends of Grandma or the older folks at church, what had happened and they’d reply with an “Oh, I’m so sorry”, which loosely translated into “She ain’t gonna make it”. Grandma struggled to recover, but did succumb to complications and general fatigue a few months later.
Losing her was devastating. I had live with her for a good portion of my life – my mother was a single mom until she married my father (who later adopted me). Then when teenage angst turned into teenager rage, I lived with her for a long time until family relations improved. Even when I wasn’t living there, I was spending the night on weekends, going to the bingo and helping her shop, as often as possible. She was the most important person in my life.
I found out later that one of the complications she had was breast cancer. Though that is probably not what finally laid her to rest, it certainly didn’t aid in any chance she might have had for recovery. Odds are she had been walking around with breast cancer for a decade, undetected because she hadn’t done any self-screenings and certainly hadn’t had a mammogram.
Maybe back then (we’re talking what, twenty years ago?) they didn’t do mammograms on a woman of her age? I find it hard to believe, but maybe. The more likely scenario is that she just didn’t have one done. A woman, a heavy, lifetime smoker no less, in her seventies has far better things to talk about when making the monthly stop at her physician’s office I imagine. Had it not been for the broken hip, breast cancer would have likely taken her life in the end.
That was my frame of reference for breast cancer: something far, far away; something that happened to much older people; way, way down the road.
Until now.
In the last four months, two people close to me have discovered they have breast cancer – my boss and my friend. Today, I was informed P’s preschool teacher has breast cancer. She was in remission for a long time following a double mastectomy, but now the cancer is back.
Three amazing women close to my heart are now battling this disease. It has stopped me in my tracks. This is no longer a disease affecting nameless, faceless people , people decades older than me, people so far removed from me. This is effecting women just like me – mothers and wives and friends. My friends.
To be honest, it is scaring the shit out of me. Things like this have an easy way of making you think of your own health and question the choices you’ve made to date. It’s probably the only good thing to come out of this trauma my loved ones are going through. Their struggle becomes a glaring reminder to take care of myself, to get the check-ups, to eat right, to self-screen, to stop putting things off that I know I should be doing.
This is the point of this post: to make each of you think and remember to prioritize your health and well-being. To remind you that too many people count on you everyday not to.
The reality is that of the one-hundred or so people who will read this, someone is going to get breast cancer, someone likely already has it. But that’s hardly where the game ends. Early detection and treatment saves lives. It’s as simple as that. So do those self-examinations, get the mammograms that are recommended. Know the signs and listen to your body. Respond just like you would if your child or loved one was sick: DON’T HESITATE IF YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG.
And never forget, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Drop the extra pounds, stop smoking, eat better, know your family history and your personal risk factors. Do what you need to do to live the best and longest life possible.
Yearly, we recognize October as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. But for women EVERY month needs to be. Every month we need to check in with ourselves, take a moment and do what needs to be done. We must be aware that WE are our number one defense against this enemy. Are YOU due for a mammogram? When was the last time you felt yourself up? Do it today – schedule it, grope it, think about it. Remind someone you love to do the same. It’s up to you and me sister.
And after you tend to your own health, maybe you could send a few prayers to my boss, my friend and my daughter’s teacher? They are brilliant, brave women. They are not statistics or culminations of risk factors. They are facing the odds we fear.
Someday, they will call themselves breast cancer survivors.










16 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 19, 2008 at 11:04 am
Jess
I had 2 aunts and a cousin who all suffered through breast cancer. My Aunts were surviors, my cousin was not. She was in remission for 5 years until the cancer returned in her spine. After 18 months she passed away.
I had my first mamo at age 28 and then my follow up last year. I am lucky that they were both clear. I think early detection is key. I highly encourage everyone to feel your boobies every month and to contact your Dr at the first sign that something is not right.
August 19, 2008 at 11:06 am
Christina
I’m so sorry about your friends. I’ve been lucky that I have no family history of breast cancer, but we’ve been touched through my husband’s step-mother’s family. Her sister and her mother are breast cancer survivors, and her identical twin sister was just diagnosed. (She’s a little nervous, naturally.)
Just because I have no family risk doesn’t mean that I ignore checks, though. It’s a simple check every woman should do. Thanks for spreading the word about it.
August 19, 2008 at 11:15 am
Heather~Domestic Extraordinaire
My step grandmother had breast cancer. After a double mastectomy that was done too late it spread to her lungs and in the end it took her. I am constantly checking each month and urge others to do the same. A couple of moms of Giggles’ friends have suffered through it as well. It really hits harder when it is closer to home.
I am sure this is a wakeup call to many women out there. Thanks Amy for posting this.
August 19, 2008 at 11:47 am
Mandy
Good wake up call!
Thanks!
August 19, 2008 at 11:56 am
Kate
You’re telling my mother’s story – and mine. I appreciate that. I also wish that there was more we could realistically do in the way of pre-screening. Often, by the time a lump is discernable – things have progressed to the point of being critical.
I recently read in “the news” (i.e. Us Weekly) that Christina Applegate is going through breast cancer treatment. She caught it early since she had full screenings every 6 months (she does this based on family history). The tone of the article was that she was such a smart cookie to stay on top of things. But really – what insurance would pay for something like that? Obviously – Christina has enough money to pay out of pocket. And while I don’t begrudge her that – and actually applaud her maturity and sensible priorities – I wish we were all able to do the same.
Great post.
August 19, 2008 at 12:28 pm
feener
wow, so sorry to hear all the bad news. i too am starting to have close friends and family having cancer. father in law – lung cancer, good friend’s moms (2) breast cancer, one not going to make it, and anotehr good friend’s mom ovarian cancer.
i am working with http://www.kohnj.org to help raise money for ovarian cancer. i had to do something as soon as my friend’s mom was dx.
August 19, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Laura
Thanks for this great post.
I lost my grandmother to breast cancer and have been told for as long as I can remember to stay on top of this issue. But, because I’m only 27 and thought this was a disease for women over 40, I was lazy.
After a major scare that involved about 12 weeks of testing a marble-sized lump that was growing AND a scheduled surgery that luckily I didn’t have to have, I now understand that this disease affects women of all ages. So, even if you’re in your 20s and healthy, check yourself out monthly.
Oh, and don’t use NuvaRing. My doctor thinks my lump may have been caused by a reaction to that form of birth control.
August 19, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Katie
Thanks Amy. I am the “friend” in her beautiful post. Just yesterday I started a blog as a way of communicating information and documenting other things that come up. I will be adding to it, so anyone who wants to join me on this journey is welcome.
August 19, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Katie
Oops. I guess you’d need the site.
http://klfh.blogspot.com/
August 19, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Headless Mom
A few years ago a childhood friend had breast cancer. She was a newlywed at the age of 35 or so. This was someone that I have known my.whole.life. so I understand the “being smacked with reality.” Luckily she has survived and is doing great.
You’re right. We all need to take care of ourselves and take ourselves to the doctor when it is appropriate!
August 19, 2008 at 1:19 pm
AmyInOhio
Thanks Katie – for everything: being my friend, bringing such much humor and intelligence to my life, I’m truly amazed by your approach to what you are going through – I don’t know if I could be so strong or so open.
I’m so glad you shared your blog, I was hoping you would. I know there are women out there exactly where you are and this blog community can be such a special place when you feel you’re out on that island all alone.
You know I think the world of you.
August 19, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Andrea's Sweet Life
Women in my family have quite a history of “women” cancers. Because of that, I get a pap twice yearly (even though I pay out of pocket) and do a breast self exam on the 11th of every month. I know my odds are high, and I want to catch it early if I can!
August 19, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Insta-mom
My aunt had a double-mastectomy last year. My mother has frequently had benign lumps, but is so far cancer-free (thanking my stars for that one since I lost my dad suddenly six years ago). My mom is participating in a study called The Sister Study because it’s important to understand the whys and the hows and to discover what we don’t know yet.
You are right that it is so important to know, to be aware, to advocate.
August 19, 2008 at 7:40 pm
anymommy
A really important message. Thanks Amy. I haven’t been touched closely by breast cancer, but I know statistically it’s only a matter of time. Catching it early makes an huge difference.
August 20, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas
Hi there! I’m an Amy from Ohio (now in Nashville). My friend’s sister was buried on Friday, after a 2.5 year battle with breast cancer. She was 34 and leaves a husband and 5 children under age 8. It has been the most heartbreaking thing.
I posted a month or so ago a reminder to do self exams, and Friday I posted a poem about sisterhood, because even though I only spent time with Jenn 3 or 4 times, I felt her pain and loss so personally and cried many tears over these years for her.
This is a great post! I’m sending prayers for your 3 women.
August 24, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Jenny, Bloggess
Featured on Good Mom/ Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/5tal58