A week or two ago, my delightfully wonderful pal Jenny sent an email alerting me and other local moms about Operation Vanessa and the travesty that is our adoption system. It is simply a devastating tragedy that has a beautiful two-year old named Vanessa at its heart. Please take a moment and read Vanessa’s Mom’s soul-wrenching words on the hows and the whys she finds herself and her daughter in this terrible place. As a Mom, it just tore me to pieces.
The short version is this: Stacey Doss worked with a California adoption agency, where she was introduced and eventually selected by Vanessa’s birth mom to become Vanessa’s legal mother forever. Stacey welcomed Vanessa into her heart and home when she was only a day old and she has been the center of Vanessa’s world since that day two years ago.
Vanessa’s birth mom for reasons of her own lied to Stacey and the adoption agency/system when she told them (under penalty of perjury) that she did not know who Vanessa’s birth father was. Regrettably the truth came out shortly after Vanessa’s birth – the birth father was known and now knew his daughter had been placed for adoption.
At first glance it would be easy to cry FOUL! How could the birth mother lie like this? How could she steal this man’s child? How could this happen? And at first glance perhaps there are folks out there that would side with the birth father who claims to have unknowingly lost his child.
But as with nearly all things in life – there are many sides to this story too easily lost if you take it at first glance. I truly believe Vanessa’s birth mother did what she did to protect and save her daughter from the potential danger that is the birth father. Most of you reading this are likely parents, if not moms yourselves and you know when faced with imminent danger to your children, you’d take whatever action needed to keep them out of harms way. I have to think that Vanessa’s birth mother saw no other choice and that lie, though ultimately destructive, was Vanessa’s way out. Penalty of perjury would mean little to a mother trying to save her child.
The bottom line in this mess is that for two years Vanessa has known no other world than the one beautifully created for her by Stacey Doss. And it is there that the birth father’s rights (if he in fact is owed any) become irrelevant to me. The only rights that should matter are Vanessa’s – her right to the life and unconditional love she was granted when she was placed into Stacey’s arms by the birth mother. To strip her from Stacey would be the equivalent of ripping both their hearts out, leaving two broken souls that will never heal. This child deserves to stay exactly where she is. Is it unfair to the birth father? Maybe. But I don’t care. All that matters is Vanessa – her best interests.
Montgomery County (Dayton, Ohio area) is asking the courts to return Vanessa to Ohio where she’ll be placed in foster care while this issue is sorted out. I find this shameful and beyond comprehension. And like Stacey said: “… children are not a commodity that you put in a warehouse until a decision is made as to where to place them!” The law is wrong here and this child should not have to suffer to prove it.
If you are in the area and can spare some time to show support for Vanessa and Stacey, we invite you to join us for a candlelight vigil in Montgomery County on Thursday, July 15th at 8:30 pm in the Carillon Park. We’ll assemble at the Carillon (see pic to right). You can get up to the minute info on the vigil at Operation Vanessa’s Facebook Page which will be updated regularly.
Not in the area? No worries – sign the petition; send words of encouragement to Stacey and Vanessa through their Facebook page, Twitter account or website. And most of all, keep them in your prayers.
Cincy Chic is once again hosting the wonderful diva’licious Red, Pink and Blue event next week. I had a blast at the event last year, believe me, you’ll want to mark your calendars for Friday, June 25th, 6:30 pm to 11:00 pm.
Red, Pink and Blue is all about women’s health and being proactive. The focus of this event is especially important to me – my mother died as the result of heart complications; I have an aunt who has lost both of her legs to diabetes and sadly, there are too many women in my life who have faced (AND BEAT!) breast cancer.
During the event, St. Elizabeth Healthcare will be on hand with their mammography van as well as blood pressure screenings. Are you up to date on your breast exams? Check here to make sure you’re keeping your dates and your boobies straight and perky!
Once you tend to your inner beauty, don’t forget about the outer! Watch as the Purple People Bridge becomes the world’s most awesome runway with sassy-hot fashion show. The first 200 hundred in attendance will score a sa-weet swag bag to boot! Get it? to boot…I crack myself up
“This event marries fashion and philanthropy. Not only will we have free
health checks and information available, but we’ll also transform the bridge into a quarter mile fashion show runway! It’s truly an epic production,” says Cincy Chic publisher Amy Storer-Scalia.
After all the fun on the Bridge, head to Star Lanes on The Levee for the wrap-up party and roll the night away!
All proceeds from the event will benefit the American Heart Association, Pink Ribbon Girls and the American Diabetes Association. Tickets are only $15 a piece, visit Cincy Chic’s site to order yours today.
But wait! I have 3 pairs of tickets in my hot, little Red, Pink and Blue hands and three lucky winners are gonna get them. Just leave a comment here and I’ll choose three of them randomly and you’re set! You have until Monday (6/21 at 11:59pm) to enter. Good luck!
Sunday, as some of you know, P participated in Ride Cincinnati. I’ll have some action shots and details later this week of the amazing P conquering her first bike ride, but for now I had to share an exclusive little pre-ride interview she gave…you can’t find this stuff anywhere but here people.
Reminded me of that line from Better Off Dead I think – where upon seeing John Cusack in the garbage truck, one construction worker says to the other: “Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.”
Congrats Phyllis! You are the winner of the Summerfair tickets!
Sure, Memorial Day may be the start of Summer, but Summerfair is what really gets the party started!
Hey! That's me, getting my art on!
For 43 years now, Summerfair has been making Cincinnati a more beautiful place. Bringing together all types of artist and artistry with eager recipients like me, it is a jewel in the crown of the Queen City.
Last year, with P being older we took full advantage of their Youth Arts Rocks! area. We designed matching family t-shirts that we are still wearing today. P is already counting down the number of projects she plans to do this weekend. And I’m really looking forward to the first-time ever 2D/3D mixed media art category – a whole new art form to enjoy! The details:
Summerfair runs Friday (2pm-8pm), Saturday (10am-8pm) and Sunday (10am-5pm) – June 4th, 5th and 6th
Your $10 admission price includes parking and children 12 and under are free! And you can purchase tickets online and print them at home if you’d like, just click here.
There is no way to see all that Summerfair has to offer in one day, so f0r the true enthusiasts, Summerfair offers a three-day pass for only $15 – but you have to purchase this before 2pm on Friday, June 4th
So make plans to join the fun. I have two FREE tickets to raffle off to one lucky winner. Just leave a comment here ASAP – I’ll draw tomorrow at 6pm so I can get the tickets to you in time to enjoy all there is to do this weekend!
